My life is crazy, and I'm partially if not totally to blame for it. I try to first and for most keep myself happy, but I also try to make others happy too. It's co-dependency, and it's damaging to myself, and to those around me.
It's as if I'm self sabotaging my own life.
Here I go out of my way to make sure people around me are happy, and in return, I get kicked in the gut, slapped in the face, and so on. I get really pissed off about it, but then I realize, it's my own fault. I'm trying to make someone happy that doesn't want to be. I'm exerting my energy to make someone a priority, when they won't exert the energy to make themselves a priority. Why do I do this? Bottom line, I'm not sure. I guess it's some deep seated need to make someone happy. That doesn't make it right.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Codepenency
I am a co-dependent person.
I take other peoples issues, and problems, and try to fix them. In the process of doing that, i tend to alienate people, which really sucks. I alienate my own needs, and this presents it's own issues, and problems.
For the most part, it's a problem of caring, and thinking that you have more power than you do. Thinking that you have the power to make other happy, which in the grand scheme of things doesn't do anyone any good.
I don't want to control other people, but that is very much how it comes across.
It's a behavior that manifests itself deep inside you, to the point it becomes a compulsion. You find yourself not trusting people, and feeling like their actions are to blame for how you feel, which isn't the case at all. It's a matter of you wanting other people to take control, so you don't have too.
I'm learning a lot by reading a book called, Codependent No More, which is very insightful. Changing this behavior will likely take me as long as it did to develop it.
I take other peoples issues, and problems, and try to fix them. In the process of doing that, i tend to alienate people, which really sucks. I alienate my own needs, and this presents it's own issues, and problems.
For the most part, it's a problem of caring, and thinking that you have more power than you do. Thinking that you have the power to make other happy, which in the grand scheme of things doesn't do anyone any good.
I don't want to control other people, but that is very much how it comes across.
It's a behavior that manifests itself deep inside you, to the point it becomes a compulsion. You find yourself not trusting people, and feeling like their actions are to blame for how you feel, which isn't the case at all. It's a matter of you wanting other people to take control, so you don't have too.
I'm learning a lot by reading a book called, Codependent No More, which is very insightful. Changing this behavior will likely take me as long as it did to develop it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)